I'm always conflicted between doing the right thing or doing what I want and It has just gotten so painful. So basically I have a dream that is quite impossible well no it is possible but to attain that I might well not might lol I definitely would have to hurt few people like to such an extent that they might even disown me lmao. So after all their excruciating efforts and sacrifice if I hurt them for my selfish desires, that will never prove a point right? And at the same time I don't want to die with regret of not doing what I wanted to. It's like if I do what I want, there is going to be a point where I am going to let it all go because I'm not strong enough to hurt certain people ugh I hate being such an emotional fool. Some people might argue saying you don't know what future upholds anything can change an don't give up on what you don't, but most probably what if nothing changes! And after years of endurance all I'm supposed to do is let go????? I can't fathom the pain!