I'm tired of feeling drained about my insecurities Confession
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I'm a freshman in high school and for the longest time even as a child I disliked my body a lot. I like my body once in awhile but sometimes I just have breakdowns. I have problems with comparing myself to others and even if I try to stop it doesn't stop me from looking at my insecurities. I'm tired of constantly feeling a need to check the scale every time one is near me, I'm tired of checking my measurements and telling myself if I lost a few more inches in my waist or arms I'll be perfect, I'm tired of not being able to eat comfortably around others in fears that they'll judge me, I'm tired of only thinking about losing calories when I work out even if it's a fun activity, I'm tired of my mind telling me not to eats something, I'm tired of regretting the fact that I ate something with high calories regardless if they're healthy or not, I'm tired of crying every time I see even 1 pound of weight gain on the scale. I'm just tired that my mind can't be positive even when I try really hard. I tried talking to my mom about it and she told me I shouldn't feel that way because I'm not overweight and the doctors say I'm at a perfect weight. I just don't understand why my mind can't be more positive. I'm not allowed to lose weight due to health issues but it still doesn't make me feel any better. I just don't know why my mind can't think of something positive especially when I really need it.


Its just because we compare ourselves to other girls dear. I used to eat so much, like not over eating but to my heart's desire and I wasn't as fat or anything and then the lockdown hit and then so many people lost weight and their transformation videos and all these tik tok celebrities and their gorgeous bodies! Most of it would be photoshopped or hidden behind aesthetic clothing but it sucked so much! I started working out, and when I didn't get fast results I used to be so mad at myself. I guess we all are struggling with being confident in our own bodies.
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