I'm terrified to live... I'm terrified to die... I'm terrified to leave... I'm terrifed to stay... Confession
VPoints 10
Supporters 3
Vent 1

I'm 13... and dealing with a lot of fucking bullshit. I suffer from anxiety and I hide it from my family. Depression as well. Two days ago, my dad... he ripped my dog out from underneath our dinner table and hangs her by her neck. I jump and scream Dad and slam my fist on the table. My mom yells at me to sit down, as my dad throws my dog in her cage, my mom sends my three sisters upstairs and comes over to me, and says, " If you yell at your dad like that again I will choke you out myself" She sent me upstairs. I cut myself with a thumbtack, I am insecure about everything, and it's just so stressful. I have to feel like I have to be the perfect child, to have the best grades. But at the same time, I just want to leave, all I am ever told is something that makes me feel not loved or stupid. I don't know what to do...


Calm down dear... calm down. Sit with your parents and talk to them. They definitely must be having some reasons to behave like this. Chat with ur sisters or with your friends but don't lose heart there is much more in life than this and you will a lot of beautiful things as you grow up.so just calm down


Well as I should do is ask you to speak to your family but as per your description, they don't have a logical sense that is your perception right so of course talking to them right now could be a mess. I say, seek outside help, yeah it is easy to say but you gotta keep things confidential as you don't want to be known as the guy who's had a bad past i totally get that. Well I have had that kind of a life, well minus the dog part. It was hard and frustrating and if I had the courage to attempt suicide I would have. I held tools and weapons in my hand, all my body shivering , but I could never do it, an I AM GLAD I DIDN'T cz as andrew said, you have so many opportunitiies waiting for you. RN it might seem like a cliche but it is true and you'd never be able to find out any of it!! What you have to do is, play a double role, well just a suggestion cz thats what saved me. I know we are supposed to be ourselves but times like these are challenging. What I did was be the perfect kid and best grade scorer infront of them them and a total badass crazy reckless person with the few people that i trusted. But you have to be careful if you do this, prioritize people after an*lysing them. There are a lot of incredible things waiting for you!


My parents want me to be perfect and that shit is hard , especially in school I try to put effort and try to be nice to them and come at peace with them . But school is very stressful I knowc I have anxiety I don't need a doctor to tell me , when ik i am in trouble I have shortness of breath and it gets hard for me to breathe . I'm not going to tell my mom because she's going to tell me that I just want attention and that I just want to be seen . Like I said I cannot stress this enough I can't wait till I graduate and turn 18 , So I can get away from them from the time I was 7 till now my mom has said so much shit to me that has stuck with me and she made me insecure about stuff I was never insecure about and calls me so many names I don't even care anymore . That's why she says anytime I get in trouble that I don't care about nothing but my phone ... BITCH YOU DAMN RIGHT I DON'T I try to get good grades it looks like i'm not trying .. to get my mind off stuff I usually call a friend or watch tiktoks . her punishment is taking that from me I can't wait till I get my own shit and get the fuck out of this hell h*le :) ..
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