i dont know why my topic line has to be so long, but my frustration and sadness after coming back home Relationship Family
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VPoints 10
Supporters 3
Vent 1

whenever i come home from college, i feel really frustrated because my mom makes me feel really unwelcome. usually the first few weeks when i get back home it's not bad, but like after two weeks it just explodes. like today i forgot to wipe the table and my mom started just going off; she said i don't contribute anything to the house (which i guess is true, im a college student who works a part time job, i don't really contribute monetarily, and i just wash dishes and the tables? like normal hygienic things), but i think she got triggered today because she asked me to walk the dogs because she didn't want to, which was fine, but i refused because i said i was doing homework for my online classes that are due soon. she called me using her phone (both of us are in the house), but i turned her down and she sounded fine on the phone, but later she just starts exploding. at first she just started ranting about how i didn't clean up after myself because i didnt wipe down the table i was working at and then screaming about how i don't contribute anything in the house and how she has to serve us. i understand where her frustrations come from, but i thought it was so unnecessary to explode like that. after my dad comes back home she starts yelling about me to him, and talking about how i am getting badly influence by my sorority and how i think im high and up there because of the college i go to and how she's glad i didnt get into any ivy league schools or my ego would be so inflated. first off, this is really sad, because i dont know why she had to degrade the org i am in since i have learned and earned so many positions from there and made so many friendships and gained experience (communication, leadership, organizational skills there). and then the school thing, was madwack. I never think or thought of myself superior to someone because of the college i attended, in fact, i honestly have some self esteem and confidence issues which she always attacks me on, saying that i need to be more confident, but honestly? part of the reason why im so turbulent and passive sometimes is because of the way she raised me, i don't have a voice and i am not respected. and when i try to talk back she just is so toxic and i feel like crying so i cant even get my point through. i feel pretty worthless because i cant even give back to my parents right now because i am still in school, but i want to earn money so i can provide them better comfort in life? and my mom doesnt ask me about school, and both my parents didnt go to college which is fine and all, so i guess it would make sense that she doesnt know what to ask about, but at the same time she just makes some wild assumptions and pretends like she knows how i feel, and it's just really frustrating. out of my friend group im usually the most excited to go back home to see my family, but over recent years i dont even have that same excitement because i know my mom's just going to be bitter towards me and i cant even fix that. i feel really terrible because its not like i hate my family, i actually really love them, but i feel like there's this wall because they don't try to understand me when i speak to them or my mom just assumes. i am grateful though, to my family, because ive gotten to eat and sleep so well after coming home, but honestly, is it worth it if i have to experience this toxic relationship?


1026
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Vent

Andrew
SC. really 😒sad to hear what you are going through. On one side its nice to hear you say that you love your parents, you love your mom and also good to see that u also understand that since they may not have been to school or college they probably cannot have a conversation with you regarding your college. I feel that first parents are parents and they hold a special place...so talk it out with ur mom, see whats frustrating her...maybe something is bothering her too and take it from there...hope you are able to resolve this soon

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Andrew
Do share what happened once you have spoken to her

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Calm
College? What does she know about that? My advice is to do everything she says one day and nothing the next in order to acknowledge appreciation. Thanks for sharing.

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Burtay
Calm
So what really happened.are things back to normal now. Are you and your mom working out things...listen mate...things can get tough with each one of us. Sometimes we don't there point of view and vice versa so don't feel bad, infact try to find the root cause of it...get to the bottom of the situation and then find solution.
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