How do I (f21) deal with this? Bf (m23) has suddenly got a new female best friend Relationship Friends
@meher
VPoints 1309
Supporters 34
Vent 264

Background for clarity- 4 and a half happy years together and a 1 year old baby boy and we live together. Three weeks ago a girl starts working in his job, she is only temporary and gets let go on Friday past, boyfriend soon gets let go on Monday (3 days ago) they both started working together in a new place tonight and have been consistently texting each other since last Friday when she was let go.

I have full access to these messages and neither parties seem to have sexual intentions etc, so this I am not worried about-

What am I worried about is the effect it is having on me. She is making him happier, as ‘it makes a change talking to someone who doesn’t just want to jump on me’ and they just talk about the most boring sh*t like - what you up to? Just watching tv-How bout you? Have you heard from (${^|€) about work? No. Me either.

But my problem with all this is that for the last 5 years, I was the absolute ONLY one to receive all of his attention, and since we have had the baby, this has not changed, I still get adored and as much attention as I always did.

He started picking her up for work when she started as she only lives a few streets down and it’s a 20 minute drive to work, so I don’t mind they work awkward shifts and I wouldn’t like any 20 something year old girl walking home that distance at 1am etc,

But he then asked would I mind if they just went out for a coffee. I’m sorry, but this is my boundary, you don’t just go for coffee with someone you only met 3 weeks ago?! I don’t believe he would cheat on me, I don’t believe she has any sexual interest in him, but I just don’t like the attention he is giving her and taking away from OUR family time. He will text her all day and then go to work with her and then text after he comes home.

We have spoken about this over the last 4 nights and it has ended up in me crying because it is breaking my heart but he doesn’t see what my problem is.

Am I OTT about his/her relationship ? Or would you have something to say if your OH suddenly did this?


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james
I think it is good on him to keep you in the loop, and as long as you feel safe that what they have is indeed a friendship and nothing else, I'd say a coffee seems natural.

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Supporters
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gurmeet
See the problem will be only when he refuses to acknowledge that you feel left out in the situation.
Replied to gurmeet: See the problem will be only when he refuses to acknowledge that you feel left out in the situation.

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gurmeet
I otherwise feel that having a 'good friend' is not too big an issue...relax

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Arlen
Girl you are just getting too overprotective of your BF...relax and spend some good time with your friends
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