Relationship
@sabernine
VPoints 19
Supporters 3
Vent 1
Frustrated
10 months ago
Is she having her cake and having it too?

I am new to this blog or website and I really don't care if anyone reads this. I have been going through a rough patch currently. I have been away from my spouse for over a year due to work. Let me tell you a bit about me... I am a 36 year old male, I served in the Army for 17 years and I am currently "deployed" as an overseas contractor. I started contracting the day I stepped out of the Army to ensure my family has food on the table, a nice roof over there head and nice clothes on their back. I make a decent check every two weeks. The job has decent benefits (Health Care, Dental, vision ect.) My wife has to manage a house, three special needs kids, ensure the bills are paid and things of that nature. I get the chance to go home once a year for about 30 days free (I do not have to pay for the ticket). So the jest of it was I came home about the end of June 2019. The first few hours were slow as they always are. Like I said I was in the Army for 17 years and we have been married for nine years. She has been through several years of me not being home due to training or deployments or duty. We both have, or should I say had, this way of "recli*king". I knew what to expect and what was needed to be done. Unlike the last times, she was pulling away. Sometimes people can feel that feeling "something is not right". I point blank asked her what was wrong and she was spilling the beans about alot of things WE should have been talking about while I was over here. Of how she does not like how I made some sexist jokes (Which granted if I knew I was offending her I would have apologized and stopped) How I was asking for boudoir photos of her (She is my wife of eight years and I would rather look at her anytime than porn). The tension was building. I finally asked her did she want a divorce. My heart sunk a bit, but again I have already been through a divorce so I knew the ropes and know it will hurt for a bit and I will get over it. She said she was thinking about it. I then asked her what was there to think about it. She said it would change alot of people's lives (Meaning her, my two stepsons and my two sons). So I managed to nod my head and "give her space". I spend 330 days overseas in a hostile area, living conditions as not bad but its the best for the place I am at and I work 12 hours a day in the elements. I was very upset and angry when me and her was setting on the couch, she was on her phone doing what ever the wh*le day. Then once her oldest son comes in the house with his friend she hops up and starts to entertain them with the cat and small talk. I almost lost my temper,
but I calmly walked outside and gathered my thoughts as I smoked a cigarette. The next day I changed every bank account and all of my passwords to my accounts. Towards the end of my leave we bond a bit, not to the extent I would like but I respected her enough to do that for her. She dropped the divorce talk and I left back to my place of work. Kept in touch with her mostly small talk but nothing really connecting. Thought this year I am making sure to provide for her and the kids ( all of them). I am getting the feeling she is having her cake and eating it too. She is able to have health care for all the kids (Two of them are my stepsons) The kids are in a very nice school district, we have a mortgage on a decent house, a $30,000 van and a $50,000 jeep, and does not have to work herself. She only has to put up with me for 30 days a year. Better than child support. I am getting very upset about all this. I did some romantic things for her and did not get any acknowledgment about it. I was not looking for praise but saying "thank you" would have been nice. I am currently like why should I continue to reach out to her and pour my heart and soul out if I am getting the feeling this is a one way relationship. Yes I have fucked up in this relationship, I was not the best husband but I am trying to show I have improved. Bottom line is I am tired of feeling like a show pony and providing paychecks and benefits while being walled off. There are 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week that's 168 hours. She can take say one of those hours to send an e-mail or talk to me. I am again getting the feeling I am not a priority in her life. Bottom line is I am going to try to put a plan in motion. Nothing to hurt anyone or deny any money. I am wondering what would happen if I did not reach out to her (Try something called no contact and see if she contacts me). I am wondering if I am working to hard or is this relationship done and I should start calling lawyers. I am going to set down and really see what happens, then make the best decision for me. I will always love my kids, however at the same time I will not stay in a relationship just because of them. I will need to juggle their needs with mine and make sure I am happy and that they are taken care of as well.

4
Relationship
@chevybuytroy
VPoints 23
Supporters 0
Vent 2
Frustrated
11 months ago
I can’t be the only one with this home life

I can’t be the only one that goes through this daily at home. I have a feeling my wife likes me miserable. I do everything to please her. She doesn’t work does what she pleases. I get off work at 5pm and if I’m not home by 545 I start getting calls and multiple texts leaving me with no time to myself or even run errands. I have never been unfaithful to her or anyone in that matter. But I’m always getting accused and have to defend myself. I have an adopted child with my first marriage and need to talk to my exwife about him. She has me I an app where I can’t talk to my ex without her seeing. She has even deleted messages from her so I don’t get them. My wife’s 2 children live full time at the house and I can’t discipline them without getting accused of being mean. My son hates coming to my house now cause she is awful to him and has never accepted him. Every night is an argument snout something I’ve did or don’t do or getting home within 30 mins from work. If she asks me to do something I get ridiculed. She complains about the house being messy even though she’s home all day. If I clean I get yelled at for throwing something away and not in the right place. I’m pretty sure she’s been gaslighting me on thing also. So I get yelled at for cleaning or not cleaning either way I go I’m wrong. She has alienated me from all my friends and even my parents. If I’m at my parents within 10 mins I’m getting multiple phone calls to cone home. I am in a deep depression over this and told her I may need a therapist to talk to since I can’t talk to anyone else about my problems or else she gets mad. She rolled her eyes at me and said that was stupid. I’ve talked to her over and over about how I feel and she either doesn’t get it or care. I’m ready to leave but afraid of losing my house even though she has never even paid a payment on it. Nothing is in her bane but sure I’m going to lose everything . I guess at this point I’m so over it I’d rather lose everything then be in my hell. I’d rather be at work then home. Her mom is the secretary at my work so I don’t even know if I’d have a job if I leave her. I’m scared of wat to do but don’t want to keep living like this. As I write this we just fought over me cleaning the mud room. All she wants me to do is sit on the couch with her. I don’t know how much more I can take. She’s making Xmas horrible cause she doesn’t want my family around. I just want this to be over with

9
Relationship
@chevybuytroy
VPoints 23
Supporters 0
Vent 2
Frustrated
11 months ago
I can’t be the only one with this home life

I can’t be the only one that goes through this daily at home. I have a feeling my wife likes me miserable. I do everything to please her. She doesn’t work does what she pleases. I get off work at 5pm and if I’m not home by 545 I start getting calls and multiple texts leaving me with no time to myself or even run errands. I have never been unfaithful to her or anyone in that matter. But I’m always getting accused and have to defend myself. I have an adopted child with my first marriage and need to talk to my exwife about him. She has me I an app where I can’t talk to my ex without her seeing. She has even deleted messages from her so I don’t get them. My wife’s 2 children live full time at the house and I can’t discipline them without getting accused of being mean. My son hates coming to my house now cause she is awful to him and has never accepted him. Every night is an argument snout something I’ve did or don’t do or getting home within 30 mins from work. If she asks me to do something I get ridiculed. She complains about the house being messy even though she’s home all day. If I clean I get yelled at for throwing something away and not in the right place. I’m pretty sure she’s been gaslighting me on thing also. So I get yelled at for cleaning or not cleaning either way I go I’m wrong. She has alienated me from all my friends and even my parents. If I’m at my parents within 10 mins I’m getting multiple phone calls to cone home. I am in a deep depression over this and told her I may need a therapist to talk to since I can’t talk to anyone else about my problems or else she gets mad. She rolled her eyes at me and said that was stupid. I’ve talked to her over and over about how I feel and she either doesn’t get it or care. I’m ready to leave but afraid of losing my house even though she has never even paid a payment on it. Nothing is in her bane but sure I’m going to lose everything . I guess at this point I’m so over it I’d rather lose everything then be in my hell. I’d rather be at work then home. Her mom is the secretary at my work so I don’t even know if I’d have a job if I leave her. I’m scared of wat to do but don’t want to keep living like this. As I write this we just fought over me cleaning the mud room. All she wants me to do is sit on the couch with her. I don’t know how much more I can take. She’s making Xmas horrible cause she doesn’t want my family around. I just want this to be over with

Relationship
@crazy_cat_lady2002
VPoints 38
Supporters 2
Vent 6
Frustrated
one year ago
My medicine doesn't help and I'm super depressed.

I want to dye my hair because I like doing it... But my boyfriend hates it so I'm not going to. I feel like shit. I'm not seeing my mother this weekend and she's mad at me. I've done nothing but sit here in my pajamas and play Minecraft all fucking day. I can't not be doing something or else I get depressed because I don't have anything to stop me from thinking. I didn't sleep good last night. I need friends my age to talk to. I have no one.

Relationship
@crazy_cat_lady2002
VPoints 38
Supporters 2
Vent 6
Disgusted
one year ago
I really don't like myself right now.

Getting pushed away by someone you love can't care about makes you feel unwanted, not needed. Worthless.. that's how I feel right now. I hate myself for having mental health problems. I hate myself for being needy and clingy. I hate myself for being me.

1
Relationship
@jadelson
VPoints 1351
Supporters 31
Vent 346
Calm
2 years ago
If you were to marry an actress, who would she be?

Let me know!! :D Dont go whining you cant or that such a question is not logical. You just need to dream a bit. :P Tell!!

2
Relationship
@meher
VPoints 1309
Supporters 34
Vent 264
Disgusted
2 years ago
I got back with my ex – and then he went off with someone else | Yes, cuz you're a fool

What made you get back to the creep in the first place??

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