Relationship Significant Others
@
VPoints 17
Supporters 2
Vent 3
Frustrated
2 weeks ago
What do I have to do to be good enough for someone to stay with me?

Why is it that the women I'm interested never see me as worthy of their love? They'll flock to whatever jerkoff has the right stuff at the moment, get hurt by him and I am somehow responsible for what he did. And when I do make the mistake or do what causes the problem, I'm horrible and evil and despicable and don't deserve to be loved.

Why even try anymore? No one ever seems to see me as anyone of value unless they're so damaged that anyone seems like a good choice. I just want one woman for me. One. Why is it so hard to find someone? I'm going to be 40 next month and the only thought I have is how much of a failure I am as a mate since no one stays with me. And nearly every woman who left me? They found Mr. Right and are living happy lives.

How come I don't get to live the happy life? What do I have to do to make someone want to stay even when I'm flawed? I know guys who are actual criminals and cheat on their wives but not one leaves. Me? I say or do one thing a woman doesn't like and I'm immediately persona non grata.

It's not fucking fair.

Relationship Significant Others
@
VPoints 17
Supporters 2
Vent 3
Angry
4 months ago
I want to love her, but she doesn't want to be loved.

How many of us want to be loved and cared for? How many of us want someone to spend our days and nights with? How many of us want someone to look at us with love in their eyes? Apparently not my ex. She and I reconnected last year and spent the entirety of that year talking, getting to know each other again after years of being apart. We had 2 liasons where physical intimacy happened. In a year. So when we finally talked about trying to get together again, I was ecstatic. I talked to people who were close to me (my sons' mother, who loved her to death, my coworker who knew her and 2 friends who had spent time with her) but apparently that was too much for her. She told me she was bothered by me talking to people about us. It's not like I went around saying "she's my girlfriend". I was saying, "we're giving things another shot" and that nothing was definite. SHE made a big deal of it and has been a lot more distant. While I can understand she's been through difficulties with the guy she ended up with after we split, I can't understand how she is upset with me being clear with her for A FUCKIN' YEAR about how I felt about her. I've been consistent with what I've said and done. I haven't hidden my feelings or motives. So why is it so terrible that I want to love her like we did a long time ago? Women make no sense to me. They go with guys who mistreat them and hate it. Then they say, "why can't I find a good guy?". And when a good guy comes along, their first instinct is to tear apart anything the good guy says or does. And THEN, they often end up with another guy who treats them badly. I'm not a terrible person. I have flaws and difficulties I have to work through. But I admit to not being perfect and vow to make effort to improve. Why am I a terrible choice for a mate? I hate how I feel and I wish I could change the way things are. But apparently if you aren't beating her up, cheating on her or treating her like garbage, you couldn't possibly love her.

2
Relationship Significant Others
@fireweed
VPoints 5
Supporters 1
Vent 1
Frustrated
6 months ago
I’m not happy, but I need to make this work

My boyfriend, let’s call him Daemon, and I only started dating 4 months ago. We started as friends and coworkers. I found him to be loquacious and he has a dark sense of humor, but very smart and makes stimulating conversations. I tolerated some of his shenanigans at work but then he starts asking me to hang out with him outside of work. I didn’t think much of it, because I didn’t have any friends and it would be nice to hang out with someone besides my mom, grand aunt, and cousins. Then he started inviting himself come to geek gatherings and conventions with me. Again, I didn’t think much of it to bring him along, but he was so damn talkative, the entire drive and always followed me everywhere-even when I dropped hints that I wanted to wander about on my own and go to certain panels. He took me to one of his friends’ houses. I went to the car, quietly came back and heard them talking. I had found out that he liked me. I didn’t like him that way, but I wanted to dance away from the issue and act like I didn’t hear them and closed the door back. He asked me the next day if I liked him back and I said only as a friend. I thought we were done with it but I was wrong.

Since then he would cuddle me, kiss me on the cheek, hold my hand, walk close to me in public, and if I resisted he would start acting apathetic, say that I was “in a mood” or “having an attitude”, or brush it off and say “you enjoy it.” I don’t even like going to his house or to the movies with him because he keeps putting his arm around me and putting the armrest up so he can move closer. Though if I tell him that I’m not feeling well, he’ll back off, but I can only play sick for so many times. There had been times when he would come over for and celebrate the holidays with me and my family ( I live with my mother and other guests would come over) when the day is over with and I tell him that it’s time to go, he starts acting funny and asking why am I in such a rush to get rid of him. When I say that I’m not and that I’m tired, he says I’m having an attitude with him. We get into a small argument and he leaves. Then I’m left wondering what I did wrong. There had been another incident when he and I went out with a friend of his and his wife. His friend jokingly asked when Daemon and I would get married. I said that we weren’t anything like that and I saw him like another sibling. He started to behave apathetically, again. Other times, we’d get along, go to the park, and talk on the phone like normal friends.
This goes on until 5 months ago when I finally agreed to date him. He was still good to me and I felt like I owed it to him to at least try and see how things went. However, the moment I did, I had a bad feeling in my stomach. I’m not happy in my relationship. He’s pretentious argumentative, arrogant, most likely a misogynist, makes excuses for the dumbest things, I think he’s gaslighted me from time to time, but I can’t tell, and he tends to make something out of nothing. I still don’t even like for him to kiss me or cuddle me. A woman ought to feel safe or content in a man’s arms, but I feel trapped and smothered-as if I’m being held hostage. I’m forced to endure his manosphere/red pill-fueled political tirades. I’m right-leaning myself, almost to the point where I’m practically a conservative, but DAMMIT SHUT UP AND LET ME RELAX AND WATCH TV. He even lectures me sometimes when I don’t agree on something. He’s even tried to get me to watch certain red-pill, men’s rights, anti-religion (I’m Ch*is*ian he’s Atheist), and MGTOW videos. I can’t wait to get away from him. He’s even grabbed and squeezed my arm during an argument once and shifted all the blame on me, even when I admitted my fault. I feel as though I let myself get strong-armed into this relationship. Yet, I’m trying to make it work because he really likes me, treated me well, and this may be as good as it gets for me. I’m too old (30 in April), fat, and homely be picky and don’t have that many options. Think of Princess Fiona in her ogre form, but with a tan, Afro hair, glasses, and acne scars, about to reach spinsterhood. Maybe if I keep him happy, eventually I’ll learn to get used to the bad in him, focus on the good in him, and be content.

I also worry that my childish romantic fantasies of what I think happy and healthy relationships are, also contribute to my dissatisfaction. I always used to ,and still do, daydream about dancing, skating, walking around a big mall while holding hands, playing and walking on a beach, and/or sharing a milkshake with some unattainable dreamboat like Charles Melton, Jay Park, or Pierre XO. I’d feel this lightness in my chest, I’d be glowing, and I’d hear chimes. He’d listen to me talk about things that I like and won’t cut me off and start going on about guns , cars, his computer, or more red-pill garbage. He’d be level-headed, compassionate, and would respect my beliefs. I know it’s stupid and juvenescent to think that an aging ogress like me can have that. I really need to make this work. How do I learn to be content with what I have and learn to love Daemon like he loves me?

1
Relationship Significant Others
@hellohello9
VPoints 7
Supporters 2
Vent 1
Frustrated
7 months ago
I should know what I want and who I want but I don't and it makes me feel like a terrible person

I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years now and he's so good to me. I love him emotionally but physically I don't feel passionate. I do however get turned on my women so easily. So I've been considering the possibility that I could be lesbian or it could just be stress. On top of this, my best friend of ten years that I had feelings for in the past years ago told me she's in love with me again. I can't deny I have a strong love for her too but I love them both. I don't know how to choose without losing one of them or making a decision and later realizing I made a mistake. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle here and I just want to be happy with myself and my identity again. I love them so much it is all so stressful and I hate to think of life without either one or hurting them, I just feel lost.

2
Relationship Significant Others
@
VPoints 8
Supporters 2
Vent 1
Calm
12 months ago
Do I have a normal Celebrity Crush or have I just fallen hopelessly in love?

Well, I'm here to get out that I maybe be crushing/in love with someone I have not shot at ever getting with. For the past few weeks now, I've found myself only thinking about one actor/singer/song-writer and how I would love nothing more than to be called his, but I know good and well it will never happen, which is what crushes me.

The celebrity in question is Aidan Gallagher, whom many know him for playing as Five Hargreeves in the hit Netflix series Umbrella Academy. To clarify, he's only a year or so older than me so we are within the same age range.

Well, that's the guy of my dreams. He's sweet, kind, dorky, adorable, and loving, and I'd love nothing more than to just tell him how I feel or even have the chance to be his, but I know that's something that will never happen and it crushes me.
I've had crushes before and I've had celebrity crushes before, but none have affected me in such a way where I feel alive just thinking about him, but also feel pained and heart broken knowing I have no chance. I love imagining and dreaming, but being hit with harsh reality has made me have to pause classes and classwork just so I could have a crying session over how I know I'll never get to be with him.

My problem comes in with the fact that I live miles away from him and I have hardly any social media presence, so I'd have no chance of even being noticed by him. I've tried telling myself that I'm in love with the idea of him or in love with the character he plays on tv, but none of that has helped as I know this is just attraction to simply him. He's perfect and everything I'd want in a significant other, but I guess I'll just be left to suffer with my dream of him returning those feelings.

I feel as if I truly am hopeless and I just feel to awful and alone to wait and hope that this goes away in a few months like most crushes do. I just don't know what to do anymore as I'm only a teen and it's not like I can just tell him how I feel or fly down to L.A. to increase my chances of getting with him. What should I truly do? Please, I'm desperate for help.

2
Relationship Significant Others
@
VPoints 6
Supporters 1
Vent 2
Frustrated
2 years ago
Girlfriend and I have been arguing need advice please help!

In need of advise!!! My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now,Lately it's just been arguing back and forth, we both work and work different hours and she has CNA classes to also top it off, we barely see each other and when we do we argue but only about me being affectionate towards her, she doesn't want to be kissed or hugged when I see her or try to spend time with her, and if we're watching tv she hates when I pay more attention to her than the tv, she says she wants space like not hugged or kissed or touched so wth am I doing wrong? She works from 2pm-10:30pm and sometimes has CNA classes every other day/week which those classes are from 4pm-8pm my work schedule is from 9pm or 10pm - 9am or 8am. So when I see her she's sleeping so i sleep with her than she gets up and gets ready for her work around 11am or so but when she does she doesn't want to be bothered by me. We both were looking forward to looking for our very first apartment but at this point she says it's not worth it due to the fact that we've just been arguing

2
Relationship Significant Others
@
VPoints 6
Supporters 1
Vent 2
Frustrated
2 years ago
Girlfriend and I have been arguing need advice please help!

In need of advise!!! My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now,Lately it's just been arguing back and forth, we both work and work different hours and she has CNA classes to also top it off, we barely see each other and when we do we argue but only about me being affectionate towards her, she doesn't want to be kissed or hugged when I see her or try to spend time with her, and if we're watching tv she hates when I pay more attention to her than the tv, she says she wants space like not hugged or kissed or touched so wth am I doing wrong? She works from 2pm-10:30pm and sometimes has CNA classes every other day/week which those classes are from 4pm-8pm my work schedule is from 9pm or 10pm - 9am or 8am. So when I see her she's sleeping so i sleep with her than she gets up and gets ready for her work around 11am or so but when she does she doesn't want to be bothered by me. We both were looking forward to looking for our very first apartment but at this point she says it's not worth it due to the fact that we've just been arguing

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