Confession
@
VPoints 5
Supporters 1
Vent 1
Frustrated
6 days ago
My life sucks and i wish my parents weren't such assh*les

I honestly cant deal with it anymore. i am constantly getting yelled at, threatened and ignored by my parent, i NEVER have my phone consistently for over a week if even. I just got it taken away again after getting it back yesterday at 8:00 at night. My mom and dad have consistently called me fat and telling me i should stop eating and then whenever they lash out on me, they just think they can apologize by giving my kisses on the head before i go to sleep and lightly say their sorry. keep in mind this happens multiple times a week. wanna know why? cause im the least fav child. it fucking sucks. i can get in trouble for things my brother does, get in trouble for things my parents make up in their heads, and just for saying things like "fine" after my mom asks me to do something and then i have to apologize and get something taken away. meanwhile my brother is constantly cursing at his friends, actually talks back to my parents, tells people to KILL THEMSELVES and yells at my parents and yet i cant recall the last time he got his phone taken away. 3 months? 6? also I constantly get reminded of my nephew, he is my age and has sexually assaulted my since we were 5 and nobody knows. like I wanna go see my sister and my other nephews but every time I get sexually assaulted of he tries to have sex with me and i cant just punch him in the face of break his skull and his legs because them ill have to tell everyone why. anyways i gtg but will most likely be back to vent some more.

1
Confession
@
VPoints 5
Supporters 1
Vent 1
Frustrated
a week ago
Want to run away or do something that'll get me far away from home and family

I don't want to be home anymore. i'd like it better in a mental hospital or maybe in an alleyway far away from where i live. i donthbfucking hell i dont know anymore i hat ebeing mocked and shouted out an d dealing with them all i just want to go

1
Confession
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VPoints 5
Supporters 1
Vent 1
Disgusted
a month ago
I think hes lying to me! what should i do PLEASE HELP ME!

Hey im gonna be honest i vape and im under age but i get them from a guy friend we were talking prices and he said he would knock the price down if i gave him a Bj and that really pissed me off like WTF dude then he said that was his friend i think he might be lying to me what should i do

1
Confession
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VPoints 8
Supporters 1
Vent 1
Calm
a month ago
Daddy issues, Mommy issues, Sexual assault.

I never grew up with my dad around. He has 3 other children, one of them is about 5 years old now. He raises her. He raised my older sister who I've met once. He raised my older brother who I've never met, he has 2 kids now. I live in California and he lives in Texas. My mom says he doesn't message me or come around because he thinks I'm better off without him in my life. He's a loser. Maybe he's right. But it sucks, he messages me like once every year to say "I love you." Then nothing. I haven't gotten any type of text from him in about a year and a half. I'm only 12. My mom's always dating shitty guys, but she's stuck with the one she's with now. She got pregnant and had his kid. I love my baby brother with everything I am, but I'm sad because now I know. No matter what, her boyfriend's always gonna be a part of her life no matter if they're together or not. I'm glad he wants a relationship with my baby brother, like me and my siblings never had, but he isn't a nice guy. I'm not gonna overshare too much, I just really need to rant anonymously. Anyway, she loves me and my siblings with all her heart but, I don't think she takes mental health seriously. If anyone ever laid a hand on us she'd go crazy. For example, when I was 3 and my brother was 6 or 7, her boyfriend (at the time) pulled pepper spray on me and my brother because he was mad at us for whining. She beat him with my brother's shoe, took us, and left. I didn't see him again after that. Yet she doesn't think about how everything affects me mentally. All the yelling, fighting and screaming is so hard to hear. My mom grew up with white picket fence parents and a really stable income. She was so privileged, and she threw her life away. She started smoking and doing drugs at 12 and by 14 she had a 19-year-old boyfriend. She's blonde, white, and pretty. I envy her in some ways, I always think that if I had what she had, I wouldn't be as stupid as her and throw it all away. I don't think I want kids, I just want to travel the world. She got pregnant at 17 but the baby didn't survive, then got pregnant at 19 and had my brother, then me at 23, and my sister at 28, and now my baby brother at 33. Were on section 8 housing and use food stamps to be able to eat. I grew up living with my grandparents till I was 8 because she was on the section 8 waiting list for years. It was hard being so young and both my mom and dad not being around a lot. She claims she was there, but the only memories I have of her from ages 0 - 8 was her going into the garage with guys she brought into my grandparent's house and smoking with them. I would go out and try and see her and she'd yell at me to go away. The other 2 memories I have are of her screaming and throwing dishes at my grandma, and me crying my eyes out staring out the window while watching her get into a car with her friends and leave me again. I would pray she'd change her mind and come back inside and cuddle with me till I fell asleep. Wow, I never realized how much trauma I went through until now. Anyway, I didn't know much physical affection because although my grandparents were the white picket fence type with my mom and uncle, my grandma never really told me she loved me or showed any physical affection towards me. But with my grandpa, it was different. He would always have me sit on his lap, rub my feet, snuggle next to me on the couch, even sleep in his bed. I never thought anything weird of it because he was my grandpa. I was naive and, maybe I'm still just overthinking. I dunno, when I was younger we would go fishing, go swimming, get ice cream, go to the park. But as I got older, I started getting weird vibes from him. For example, when I was 10 I was spending the night at my grandparents' house and I was sleeping in the guest bedroom and my grandpa came in and lied down with me. I didn't think anything weird because when I was younger I sometimes slept in his bed, and I'd known him my wh*le life so I never thought anything weird since he was my grandpa, but I was trying to sleep and I felt him move closer to me, my body got all tense, but then I pretended to be asleep for about 10 minutes and he hadn't moved so I just assumed he moved in his sleep. I calmed down and tried to sleep, but then he moved closer to me. He put his hand on my butt. I quickly moved all the way to the end of the bed, trying to play it off as me moving in my sleep. I was so confused and scared. It was already about 5 am because I had stayed up on youtube. I stayed in the same uncomfortable position I was in, at the end of the bed till the sun came up. I spent the entire time trying to build up the courage to get up and leave the room. Finally, I got up and left the room fast, I heard him move in the bed as I left but I didn't turn around. I went into the living room which was where my grandma was, watching tv. I tried to get her attention and she shooed me away but then finally she listened to me and said, "What?" I was scared but I told her. I said that grandpa put his hand on my butt when he thought I was asleep. She didn't believe me at first. Then she brushed it off and said, "He probably thought it was me." I was scared, I just went with it. But I knew he didn't think it was her. I tried my hardest to brush it off and hope he was just half asleep and really did think it was my grandma. I never talked about it or told anyone else ever. I still have to visit their house, but when I'm there I always sleep in the same bed as my little sister because I'm scared that my grandpa might do the same thing to her but worse. My grandpa's health isn't that great now so I don't have to worry as much, since he barely leaves the couch, but I just keep my distance. At school, I'm popular. I get okay grades, I have lots of friends, lots of boys like me. But nobody knows what really goes on. Not even my best friend. I've never had all the new stuff but I guess I grew into my looks after elementary school, and now most people like me or envy me. My life isn't that bad compared to some, but I'm only 12.

2
Confession
@
VPoints 5
Supporters 1
Vent 1
Disgusted
2 months ago
I'm tired of feeling drained about my insecurities

I'm a freshman in high school and for the longest time even as a child I disliked my body a lot. I like my body once in awhile but sometimes I just have breakdowns. I have problems with comparing myself to others and even if I try to stop it doesn't stop me from looking at my insecurities. I'm tired of constantly feeling a need to check the scale every time one is near me, I'm tired of checking my measurements and telling myself if I lost a few more inches in my waist or arms I'll be perfect, I'm tired of not being able to eat comfortably around others in fears that they'll judge me, I'm tired of only thinking about losing calories when I work out even if it's a fun activity, I'm tired of my mind telling me not to eats something, I'm tired of regretting the fact that I ate something with high calories regardless if they're healthy or not, I'm tired of crying every time I see even 1 pound of weight gain on the scale. I'm just tired that my mind can't be positive even when I try really hard. I tried talking to my mom about it and she told me I shouldn't feel that way because I'm not overweight and the doctors say I'm at a perfect weight. I just don't understand why my mind can't be more positive. I'm not allowed to lose weight due to health issues but it still doesn't make me feel any better. I just don't know why my mind can't think of something positive especially when I really need it.

1
Confession
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VPoints 10
Supporters 3
Vent 1
Frustrated
4 months ago
My streams and how i dont feel happy bcus of 2 ppl

So, I'm a streamer. And I had just turned into a teenager, I have just started on my way and my dad and his girlfriend want me to take breaks like, "oh read a book, or draw!" I don't enjoy reading unless I want to, and i draw when i want to. its my decision. I'm streaming because I want to be happy with my newfound career, and to make others happy. They just don't see my enjoyment do they? I want to do this a lot. so much, today someone for the first time donated to me, i was so happy. yet my dad doesn't give me support on the career neither does hos gf. I just wish I could stream without being told to shut up or to get off. they are loud all the time. Then. Why can I? when they are not home, its escape into my world of happiness in streams. My friends and I laugh a lot about things, I am going to become like dream and the others but..sometimes things hold me down..like my dad.

2
Confession
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VPoints 5
Supporters 1
Vent 1
Frustrated
4 months ago
Holy shit i cant do it anymore please

Im listening to $uicideboy$ and holy shit their music is good but its bringing back all the bullshit feelings While im screaming and crying the lyrics its like i can refeel the physical feelings from alll those times i held a knife against my neck

1
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